Charlie 2.0

As I promised myself I would do, I started making many changes in my life this semester. I understood the many faults that needed correction for me to have peace with myself and with others. It wasn’t about changing for others, but for myself, for I needed to feel good with how I was behaving. And I was not. Indeed we all are shaped by our past experiences, but we also have the option and the power to change the areas in ourselves that require changing. To evolve into somebody who’s whole, has goals, dreams, desires, a person that strives for the things he wants and does so without harming himself or others. I was an obsessive person, in a bad way, but that part of me has been modified. Also many other things that are not meant to be shared in a public place such as this, but know reader that becoming better can be done, with lots of effort, but is achievable.

Along with those changes within myself, came those that had to do with relationships and academics. I have met many people, most of them who didn’t become friends, others have become really good friends, and the ever-present small percent that I wished I hadn’t known. I welcome all people and all experiences, because with them I learn many things about myself, them and the world, but sometimes there are certain situations that are best to be avoided. Nevertheless, I have embraced them and accepted everything as needed for me to evolve.

Then the changes in academics. Not really drastic changed, because I will continue graduate studies in School Psychology, with an interest in working with the autistic population. Is more of a change in how I see it, how I will experience it. Like preparing myself for the challenge that graduate school represents. I have tasted how a School Psychologist works, the environment, the amount of paperwork and the rewards from helping a kid. But aside from the professional, as any other human being, I can’t stop learning. And specially for people like me, who are in a never-ending quest to understand how things work. Maybe that’s why I like Sylar from the tv series “Heroes”, because he can…

Changing the subject to another matter, this semester has been really stressful and the amount of work has been unbelievable. Add to that my film projects, I haven’t been able to write a decent piece of poetry lately. I still write lots of things, mostly my reflections about the metaphysics, humans and life in general. Ideas come unexpectedly, and I tend to write along the notes in class, in scrap paper and even in the desk. I have so many ideas, mainly for novels, so many stories to tell. But I haven’t found the time to write properly, yet writing a novel is one of my goals that I plan in achieving in the near future.

So, after many attempts on organizing my life and my thoughts, I can say that I can finally write in here regularly, sharing my ideas and posting the most decent fiction and poetry I can produce. One day, soon I hope, I’ll publish a book. Even if it’s self-publishing. But for now, this is my place to pour my thoughts.

Until the next post.

-Carlos J. López